“Do as you wish and experience the result
of that…” Anon
Consequential thinking is pro-active behaviour which
stems from emotional intelligence – it is about
considering the consequences of our thoughts, feelings
and actions before acting. It allows us to
make choices and decisions that will produce the best
possible outcomes and results. Far too often our need
for instant gratification leads to thoughts like:
“I’ll cross that bridge when I get
there...” In other words, “I
want what I want… and I want it now - I’ll
deal with the consequences later.” We need
to learn to delay gratification when the consequences
are undesirable and / or painful.
We make countless unconscious decisions every day.
What we should eat; what we should wear; what we should
watch on television etc. Those decisions are made
unconsciously based on our patterns, habits and our
personal priorities. Our choices shape who we are.
In order to ‘live’ integrity, we need
to consider the cost and benefits of all our actions
and align our actions with our intentions.
Not only do we have the intelligence to process and
manipulate ideas, but we also we have the intelligence
to understand and use our emotions. The scientific
definition of emotional intelligence is recognising,
understanding and managing our emotions.
Emotional intelligence is the capacity to get the
best possible results from our relationships with
our self and with others. It is a deep awareness of
the following:
Self-awareness
- understanding how we function;
Self-management
- choosing our thoughts, feelings, and actions;
Self-direction
- using empathy and principled decision-making to
increase wisdom and to create a more compassionate,
healthy world.
Understanding Your
Emotions
Learn to recognise your own emotions at increasing
levels of detail. If you can identify the emotion
you are feeling you will be better equipped to respond
appropriately to it. The eight primary emotions are
fear, joy, acceptance, anger, sorrow, disgust, surprise
and anticipation. We need to begin to understand the
causes and effects of our emotions. It also helps
us understand our own behaviour - the interaction
of thought, feeling and action.
Manage Your Emotions
Instead of suppressing feelings like anger, joy or
fear we need to slow down our reactions to
them so that we have time to choose productive responses
and decisions. There is a school of thought that suggests
that emotions make us less effective. This is not
true. What makes us less effective is being emotional
when we choose responses because when we are emotional
we are controlled by the emotion instead of being
in control of it - by managing it. Our feelings
are very important because they provide the insight
we need in order to make our decisions. Managing our
emotions means that we engage both heart and mind
in order to choose productive solutions.
Your Motivation Or
Reward For Making Good Choices
We take action when it feels right to do
so. We need to find our motivation or reward within
ourselves - otherwise we become dependent on feedback
from others and our own motivation or reward for taking
certain action can easily be forgotten. When we find
our validation within ourselves we create inner-strength
and the power to continuously grow and to become and
remain true to ourselves.
Start Recognising Your
Own Behavioural Patterns
The human brain follows patterns. (Neural pathways)
Stimulus are responses that motivate or encourage
[us to repeat the behaviour until it becomes habitual]
the neural pathways to become bigger and stronger
and it grows from being a narrow road to a highway
and the highway eventually becomes a six-lane expressway.
Once a habitual pattern is well established it requires
extraordinary measures or intervention to change the
established habit. The patterns include thinking,
feeling and acting in a continuous cycle. Throughout
our lives we learn how to cope; how to get our needs
met and how to survive. These strategies (learnt coping
mechanisms and habits) reinforce one another and we
develop a complex structure of beliefs to support
the validity of these behaviours. This system of patterns
often serves us well but it also leads us to unconsciously
sabotage ourselves.
What self-defeating habits do you have?
Become And Remain Optimistic
How bright or worthwhile is your future? Our perceptions
of the future determine our views about the present.
Optimistic thinking immediately enhances our lives.
Become More Empathic
Empathy is the ability to recognise and respond to
the emotions of others and to feel their pain. Start
listening to others with your heart!
Pursue Your Dreams
And Goals
Through pursuing our dreams and goals and daily acts
of human kindness, we validate ourselves by creating
a profound legacy. Our personal priorities and goals
shape our daily and long-term choices by giving us
direction.
BY ELSABÉ
MANNING
